mindset
I have a choice to make!
Sometimes it is tempting to view what has happened to you, to view what you are capable of going forward, as fixed, as named by the negatives. For example, I could say that this school year has been full of overwhelm from responsibilities, challenging adjustments, and unpredictable instances of mental and physical health. I could also say that this school year has been full of so much growth, working toward better habits very slowly, learning how to learn, and learning how to love/be loved/embrace that comfort and genuine acceptance should feel calm and is HEALTHY. I could also say that this school year has brought security and a feeling of freedom, autonomy that doesn't have a "but what if they think..." lingering in the back of my mind.
All of these things, technically, are true. But - amidst any hardship, look at what I have made of it! No matter how I have been feeling, how put together I have been, I have kept on working, kept on showing up, kept on learning and feeling lessons that will last me a lifetime (both in school and especially outside of it). I have kept on laughing, too. That is my favorite part, always.
So I'm sitting here working on a project that I have barely started, due Thursday at midnight. I have a week of plans with friends and prepping for the weekend and such. I am trying to get it out of the way before it can get in the way. At first I was concerned that I was still going to be consumed. That my time would disappear, and with it my happiness - SNAP! Gone.
Silly Izzy! You're being proactive. You're working.... ahead?
So why does it still feel that could happen?
Because too often I view, and I think a lot of people view, work as work. Not an opportunity. "Ugh, I have to get this over with." But this is a practical application of my knowledge. This is what I will get to do to directly influence people one day - sure, making a project site for an educational psychology class, is not going to be EXACTLY like my career. But I get to help people learn - if I treat it like an opportunity to be informed and inform others, it feels more positive. It feels like something that will last. It feels like the "ugh, why" of doing the assignment is just part of the process, not the name of it.
The bumpy parts will always be there, so you might as well find something to pour your heart into, something dynamic and meaningful